1)grab the nearest book, turn to page 18 and read line 4:
For men have none at all, or bad atleast;

2)Strech your left arm. What do you hit?:

a toaster, then air

3) last thing you watched on TV?:
The Pagemaster and the Muppets Treasure Island

4) guess what time it is:
715-730 pm

5) check time:

639 pm

6) what do you hear besides your PC?:

the fridge, heater, the distant hum of a thousand heartless souls

7) when were you last outside and why?

2 hours ago, taking my driving test. And before that, bio. I passed, by the way. Or, atleast the former.

8) what were you doing before this survey?:
thinking about a heartless soul

9) wearing what?:

twilight zone pants, and my new fender shirt new shirt

10) what did you dream last night?:

I dreamt that Casey, my dog, died.

11) when did you last laugh?:
today, at some point. I think my mom was saying something. Or when I was playing hide and seek with Shea.

12) what is on the wall of the room you are in?:
tons of notes, random things hanging

13) see anything weird lately?:

I think I saw Benicio Del Toro when I was in Santa Monica on the promenade yesterday.
During biology this morning, there were 3 fermented house cats sitting on the desk, previously disected, and spread out, so that you could see all it's internal organs. Which, by the way, were also disected.

14) how do you feel about this survey?:
tired

15) last film ya saw?:

Walk the Line, Muppet Treasure Island, The Pagemaster

16) what would you buy if you became filthy rich over night?:

I'd buy a car and save the rest for college.

17) tell an unkown fact about youself:

I still bite my nails. I've had guy trouble incessantly over the past 3 years. I wish I was taller. I want someone older and more wise than me. Not someone who just acts like they are.

18) what would you change in the world, besides politics:

I would make soul mates. If there aren't already.

19) do ya like ta dance?:
sometimes. If I know the person well.

20) Bush:

The government sucks. In general. I don't think Bush is much better or worse than any other politician.


21) if your child was a girl, what would you name her?:
Luna, Helena, Asher, or Shawnee

22) same question with boy:

Noah, Hayden, Ash, Zane, Dimitri, Nikolai, Graeme, Gerard, Apache, Cade, Gabriell, Reef, Pirate, Atreyu, Wolfe, Phoenix, Sawyer, or Joaquin. no, I haven't thought about it, much. I've been saving that list for 2 years or more.

23) would you consider living abroad?:
I already do, I already have.

24) if you went to heaven, what would God say?:

Someone must have given you the wrong directions... O.o

I am so fucking bored. Why can't there be someone who like, loves me and is in love with me, but doesn't smother me. And someone who has their own life, and likes other things, but is attentive and there for me. My soul feels like screaming. What happened to caring people. What happened to loyal. You know what, I don't care. I really just want to go away again. I want to not care.

Being in a relationship with you is very difficult, and very hurtful very often. It always has been. We think so much the same on so many different levels, but some things we think completely the opposite. You're never empathetic to me, or atleast don't show it, which is all that really matters anyway, and I always look for the deeper meaning in everything you do. I do that because you're so smart and deep that I think that's how you work. Maybe I want sympathy from you, because it's the one thing you never give me, or maybe I want to be put on a pedestal by you. That's because I put you on one. I wear rose colored glasses when it comes to relationships, and am too far into daydreaming excessively about it to realize what's going on. And I love you to death. I cannot picture myself with anyone else, nor do I have any inkling to. I want to have children with you, because it's a beautiful act of making something together that is so bonding..and it hurts me to hear you say you don't want any. I know I'd never feel the same about any other person like I feel with you. I can't picture myself without having you next to me.

A smile, A glance
Those moments, are by chance
That one flush, that one smile
You can remember forever

It's those unplanned, undetermined seconds
that make you think back,
that make your heart race
or make you shudder

Your head fills with the thoughts
with the words that were spoken
with the undescribable happiness
with what rushed through your soul

Whatever was happening then,
anything else
Was a blur
Was just the backdrop of the feelings
you were experiencing

Was the faded
and Was the forgettable
Because what went through your head that day
What rushed through your soul

Those, were what you remember
Those seconds, those moments
You can remember it, can't you
Those seconds of bliss

I was thinking today and was listening to music or something and it came across my mind how odd I think I am. I've been called wierd many times before and of course everyone thinks they're wierd, but I will tell you why I personally think i am odd-Just for the Hell of it.

- I like seeing gay guys making out, or just kissing for that matter
- I like to put my makeup on the same exact way, and the same exact manner every single day
for almost a year
-I've had a number of boyfriends, but whenever things have gotten too close, I shut down,thinking
that nothing could ever be the same as it was with my first boyfriend-When I was 14 (who, after a
year and a half, broke up with me...without telling me)
-I don't have many friends, and I like it that way
-I'd rather chill at home watching a movie than go out to party, anyday
-I don't like really tall guys (I'm 5'4 and my preferance for a guy is 5'8, 5'11)
-Almost every single actor I think is gorgeous is really feminine looking (Hayden Christensen,
Jared Leto, etc.), but in reality could only picture myself going out with a slightly masculine-looking
guy
-Did I mention I really love gay guys? I thought more of James Dean After I found out he was
gay, but probably only because it was so rebellious for back then. Or Unaccepted.
-I swear I was a guy in a former life, I love fast and loud cars, I love to feel empowered and
strong, and you couldn't give me all the money in the world to wear pink
-Wow, from reading all i wrote, it sounds like I'm a lesbian or something. I'm not, trust me.
I love guys way too much for my own good. In fact, I fall in love way too easily and fall out of
love just as fast.
-I am SICK of super-sweet, nice guys. I mean, don't get me wrong, i love sweet
guys, but jesus, over the top super nice guys are irritating. And, for me atleast, they seem
to be very boring and not impulsive or exciting at all. Basing it off some past and unmentionable
boyfriends
-I wear the same jeans every single day, you can imagine how much washing I have to do. I also
haven't changed any of my jewelry in about a year.
-I love guys who dress emo-ish, even though I wouldn't date one.
-I hate cats (okay that's not so wierd. I think being obsessed with them is even wierder)
-99% of the time I'm self concious(which isn't so wierd considering I'm a girl, but anyway)
-I lie about my age all the time, not to get into bars and stuff, but because I usually get alongbetter
with older people and that's the only way they'll accept me
-I dont like anything in my house to be bright, my blinds haven't been opened in 4 months
-There's nothing sexier than a guy who has a great voice and good cologne on. I swear those things are irresistable.
-I still have pictures of my very first boyfriend in albums in my room, not because I'm crazy, but
because it's hard for me to let go of the past
-I think Peter Sarsgaard is really sexy: He has an awesome voice, quirky mannerisms, and
isn't afraid to get totally naked with another guy
- When a guy tells me he has had a girlfriend for over a month, I start feeling uncomfortable
around him and don't know how to act around him, If I was interested in him before.
-I used to be obsessed with slash fanfiction. Wow.
- I carry my makeup with me everywhere I go, no matter what
-I could watch one of those misting/fog machines for a long time. yayyy haha
-I don't really go for blonde guys (which isnt too wierd but okay)
-I hate guys with big noses/ears
-I used to buy spell books, but never tried any
-wow I can't believe I'm admitting this one-I think a guy's a lot hotter if he has a cool car
-When I hear someone likes rap, I instantly am sort of turned off
- I hate hip bones sticking out on girls, but love it on guys
-I hate when guys have skinny legs, and that's usually the case
-this isnt so wierd but ill put it anyway-I love guys with eyebrow piercings, but I hate when guys
have tongue piercings
- I have spent way too fucking long on this, and it's quite funny, or lame, or disturbing,
whichever way you look at it
-I don't mind the thought of cutting into skin, but hate, HATE needles! like heroin bob haha
-I hated Pulp Fiction and Kill Bill
- I Love the movie Kinsey
-Sometimes it takes me a second to remember how old I am because I don't feel my age
-Every one of my shirts is either black, or white. I have exactly 10 black shirts and 4 white shirts.
-I really like older guys, and some I am attracted to are, like, really older
-I haven't had a glass of water in a year
-I believe in astrology to a point, more than most people do
-For 6 months, last year, the only thing I'd listen to was Green Day. I still love them to death, but
now I listen to other bands, too.
-I never change the radio station, it's always on new rock 1073
-I've never lived in any place for more than 3 years in my life. I was born in Newport Beach, CA, traveled
around Mexico and Central America with my mom from 1-4, and from then have lived in
Washington state, Santa Ynez Valley, Santa Monica, Australia, and too many other places
to count
-My mom's my best friend
-I used to want to believe there were vampires
- I've bitten my nails since I was 9, the only way I'll stop is if I wear black nail polish
-I have a self-done tattoo on my arm
-I used to cut myself to take the pain off the bigger picture. Wow can't believe I wrote that,
but if you're insane enough to read down this far, then you're probably insane enough to
not think that's the strangest thing in the world. I don't do that anymore, anyway.
-I used to have to have my head covered by the blanket in order to go to sleep
-I like emotionally complex people
-I believe in ghosts
-I'm not sure I believe in everlasting love
-And I'd sure as hell like to believe in fate